Woof!

This dog

Higgins, my roommate's dog

Has a genetic makeup that is 99.8% identical to this guy

The Gray Wolf

Logically I know this to be true.  I still find it so hard to believe.  Their temperaments are drastically different.  Their weight and size are completely opposite.  They eat different foods.  One has the potential to rip my flesh into shreds and gnaw on my bones, the other might lick me to death if I let him.

 I watched a fascinating documentary called “Dogs Decoded” this weekend.  If you’re a dog lover you should definitely check it out.  Here are a couple of interesting tidbits from the film:

• In Siberia there is an experiment that’s been going on for over 50 years.  They are breeding silver foxes for tameness.  They continue to breed the tamest foxes with each other generation after generation.  An unexpected result: the tame foxes actually look more like dogs than their aggressive counterparts.  They have curlier tails, floppier ears, and shorter limbs.  Weird.  This might explain why domestic dogs look so drastically different from the wolf.
• Dogs actually look at human faces differently than they look at other creatures.  When presented with a photo of a human face, the dogs’ gazes track left to look at the right side of our faces first.  Why does this matter?  The right side of the human face is generally more emotionally expressive than the left.  Dogs are actually trying to get a read on our emotions!  They do not do this when looking at faces of other dogs.
• There is a dog named Betsy who can distinguish over 300 different items.  Say “paper” and she’ll go and pickup the toy shaped like a newspaper.  Say rope and she’ll bring you the rope.  Not only that, she can also use reasoning on the same level as a two year old child.  Show her a photograph of the rope and she’ll bring you an actual rope.  Amazing!

 Man’s Best Friend continues to amaze me.

“Lord, Save Us from Your Followers” – Can I get an Amen?

Since I now live in the Bible Belt, I thought I’d get in the spirit of things by watching “Lord, Save Us from Your Followers”, a documentary film by Dan Merchant.  As you probably guessed based on the title, the film is about Mr. Merchant’s exploration of religion in America and why Christians get such a bad rap.  At first I was expecting a rather militant, anti-religion film, but that was not the angle at all.  The filmmaker is actually a practicing Christian who just wants to know why America has become so intolerant of EVERYTHING.  His primary assertion is that in order to fix the terrible image Christians have earned (especially over the last 50 years), we need to do the following:

• Stop talking and start Listening
• Think about how we sound to other people
• Try a little humility, compassion and friendship

It was really thought-provoking and I highly recommend it. 

 “What if we reached out to the people most hurt by us Christians?”

In light of the recent media exposure of bullying and suicides of gay and lesbian youth, I thought it was pretty poignant to hear Merchant’s view on the way Christians have treated the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

In my favorite part of the film, Merchant sets up a confessional at a Gay Pride celebration in Portland.  The twist?  It was Merchant who did the confessing when people entered the booth.  He apologized for the hurtful things Christians have said and done to members of the LGBT community, for the judgment and condemnation toward gay people.  He apologized for the Christian Community’s ignorance when the AIDS crisis emerged, and confessed to and apologized for Christians calling it a gay plague.  The list went on and on.  And as you can imagine, the reactions and sound bites that followed were pretty powerful.

• “I don’t know what to say.  I’m not used to hearing anyone who is a Christian say anything really nice”
• “One of the things that kept me from being a Christian was being treated so poorly by Christians”
• “I’m going to burn in hell for all eternity is what I’ve been told”
• “This is more meaningful to me now that you’ve said you’re not gay and you’re doing something because you think it’s the right thing to do”
• “Where is Christ in the message?  I don’t hear Christ in the message anymore.”
• “God loves everybody.  We’re human.  Why are [Christians] doing this to us?”
• “What are the accomplishments of Christianity?”
• “People of faith need to stand up and say ‘Jesus came to save us.  All of us, not a select few.’  And the conservatives in this country, they don’t get to set the agenda for God.”

Ouch.  This is really a problem worth solving.  I propose that we as Christians not only start apologizing, but start doing things to fix it.  Invite a gay or lesbian neighbor to church because God loves them, not because we’re trying to fix them.  Get involved in solving the AIDS crisis: not only in Africa where affects everyone regardless of sexual orientation, but here at home where it’s a big issue in the gay community.  And start thinking about LOVE.  Not judgment.  I have yet to meet anyone who is without sin, so why don’t we get over ourselves and start loving each other.  And how about this radical thought: being gay and being Christian are NOT mutually exclusive.

is "feminism" to blame? (via Just Sayin')

I read this post and was really disappointed not to be surprised by any of it. We have got to work together to change views on women in the workplace. Check it out:

In a comment after my recent post "Functional Illiteracy" a woman proposed that feminism was to blame for the decline in the literacy of our children. Her argument is that if mom isn't at home when the kids get home from school, full of energy and ready to help them with their homework while providing a plate of warm cookies and a nice pot of stew bubbling on the stove, then all is lost. (She also bemoaned the fact that all those women working on … Read More

via Just Sayin'

Millions of Meatballs, Meatballs for You!

Today I made 120 turkey meatballs.  Meatballs are extremely versatile, so I like to have them on hand.  I freeze them and use them in sandwiches, pastas, soups, and just plain.  They can last up to a couple of months in the freezer and since ground turkey was buy-one-get-one at my local market….

As I stared into my enormous mixing bowl of meatball mix, I realized that 120 meatballs is probably too much.  Here’s my recipe for a normal batch of meatballs:

1.25 pound ground extra lean turkey
1/2 white onion
2 cloves garlic
Small handful of cherry tomatoes
1/2 c panko breadcrumbs (any breadcrumbs will do, really)*
1 egg*
2 T. Shredded parmesan cheese
Small handful of either Italian parsley or basil, whichever you prefer

You’ll notice that I don’t season the meatballs with salt and pepper before serving. You can modify this as needed.  I always imagine my father joining for a meal, and he can’t have too much sodium, so I don’t preseason.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking tray with parchment paper (aluminum foil will also work).

-Coarsely chop onion and garlic.  Lightly sauté. When your housemates/roomates/family says “that smells amazing!!!” You’re almost done)  Grind in food processor for a couple of seconds. Set aside.
-Blend cherry tomatoes and your herb of choice in the food processor for a couple of seconds.  Add to your onion mixture.
-In a large mixing bowl, add egg, turkey, tomato/onion mixtures, breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese and get your hands dirty!  Mix it all together.  Remember: each bite needs to have all flavors.
-Shape your meatballs into golfball-sized hunks and arrange on the baking sheet. Take care not to roll the meatballs too tight.  They should be fall-aparty.  Yes, that’s a technical term.

-Bake the meatballs for 20 minutes on a middle oven rack.  After 20 minutes turn them over and continue cooking for 10 minutes.  Sprinke with parmesan cheese, leftover herbs, and serve.

Voilà! Lovely meatballs! 

*on a budget? Who isn’t.  Go ahead and double the eggs and breadcrumbs to stretch your batch of meatballs.

Royal Waterworks

Today I cried.  I wasn’t sad, and I wasn’t happy.  I was….. reading gossip columns.  Ugh.  I know!  So lame.  Here’s what happened:

When I woke up and flipped on the news this morning, everyone was talking about the freshly announced engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton.  This is really exciting for me.  No, I don’t know the happy couple.  I’m not of British decent.  I’m not even a WASP.  My fascination with that particular couple has absolutely no good explanation.  So when tears began streaming down my face I was a little confused, to say the very least.

 

First, I blame my mother.  She is forever telling me this story about how she watched the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana when I was a newborn, and how decadent and fanciful it all was.  Since I have an appreciation for a finely-made dress and a well-planned event, I naturally became interested in that particular wedding.  And I think it was melted into my brain when my mom watched it with infant Stevie in her lap.

 

Second, I’ve always had a tongue-in-cheek joke that I was saving myself for Prince William.  It was obviously never true, but it was a major fantasy of mine to become a princess.  I couldn’t help but daydream about how amazing it would be.  Truth be told, I’d be a TERRIBLE princess.  But that’s really not the point.

 

Third, I remember the death of Princess Di like it was yesterday (there was some initial confusion when I thought that Luciano Pavoratti had killed her…  that was the day I learned the word “paparazzi”).  I remember watching footage of Prince William at the funeral procession and thinking how ridiculously hard that must be for a guy just a year younger than me.

 

This third reason is what got me:  I was fine as a perused the internet for pictures of the lovely princess-to-be in her adorable outfits (I ADORE the hats and the riding boots), and her totally sincere perma-smile.  It was when I saw the ring that I lost it:  it was the ring with which Charles had proposed to Diana.  Prince William said he wanted his mother to be a part of this celebration.  Let the waterworks begin.  I completely crumbled into a sniffling, sentimental lump.

 So in conclusion, there was really no explanation for my sudden onslaught of emotion or my transformation into a hopeless romantic.  I fixed the situation the only way I knew how: I roasted a turkey.  WHO AM I??!!

Vacation!! Fall Food!!

I don’t have to work this week!!!  Guess what that means:  I’m going to cook and then write about it. 

My agenda for the week looks totally different than usual and I love it!  Here’s the visual representation:

In case your picture is bad (I took the photo with my phone, so it’s totally my fault and not yours) we have:

Three white onions (meatloaf and meatballs)

Three shallots (anything and everything)

Pomegranates (one has already been seeded and juiced since the picture.  It’s destined for vinaigrette greatness)

Spaghetti squash (my roomie will love it.  I will try to…)

Acorn squash (it just feels right.  It’s fall…)

Lovely ghost and cinderella pumpkins (no clue.  HELP!!!)

Stay tuned!!!

Favorite Mini-Frittatas

Have you ever tried on a great pair of pants, clearly labeled with the size you usually wear, and found that they’re tight in the thighs, tight in the butt, and they look really unattractive?  BAD SIGN.  You’ve been cooking and eating too much.  And you may have recently quit smoking and replaced that habit with a 10am bag of Miss Vicki’s Simply Sea Salt kettle chips.  Yes this story is about me.  And so far this story is gross.  Let’s change it!

I want to fit into those chinos from the paragraph above, so today’s main meal is Favorite Frittatas.  By making frittata plural (cooked in individual muffin tins rather than a skillet or pie plate) you can incorporate your favorite ingredients and each member of your family can special-order their meats and veggies.  In this recipe the main ingredients will be turkey bacon, roasted cherry tomatoes  (leftover from the shower), fresh basil, shallots, and mozzarella cheese.  In half of the mini-frittatas I’ve added mushrooms for my lovely roommate who ADORES any type of vegetable.  I wrote the recipe in 12 steps but I swear it’s easier than that.  I’m just learning how to write about food….

Here’s what you need:
Organic basil
Cherry tomatoes (ok, ANY chopped and seeded tomatoes, but I have leftover cherry tomatoes I need to use)
8 organic eggs
2% shredded mozzarella cheese
A small shallot
Turkey bacon
Whatever meat or veggies your roommate, significant other, child, friend, etc likes, lightly sauteed
Milk
HOWEVER, please don’t go shopping for anything special. The only critical items here are the eggs, bacon and cheese. The rest is personal preference and an opportunity for culinary creativity.  And an opportunity to use up whichever leftovers are bugging you.

This is how it’s done:
1) grease a muffin tin with olive oil cooking spray and preheat the oven to 375
2) fry up 4 slices of turkey bacon. Chop when cool.
3) in the bacon grease and a splash of olive oil, lightly sauté one small shallot and one handful of sliced cherry tomatoes (do the shallot first, then add the tomato)
4) chop a small handful of mushrooms and set aside
5) chop as much basil as you want (I like a lot)
6) in a medium bowl, combine 4 eggs, 4 whites of eggs, basil, tomatoes, turkey bacon, a slash of vitamin d milk, and a generous handful of 2% shredded mozzarella cheese
7) sprinkle your chopped mushrooms in 6 of the muffin tins (if you like mushrooms you can just add it to your egg mixture. If you’re accommodating someone else who likes mushrooms, only add them to 6)
8) spoon your egg mixture into each of your 12 muffin compartments – a little more than three quarters full
9) bake at 375 for 15 minutes
10) remove your mini frittatas and sprinkle with a garnish of the low-fat mozzarella
11) return to the oven and broil on low for an additional 5 minutes
12) serve 2 mini frittatas for each person and promptly put the rest in the fridge. This step will prevent over- eating and ensure that you have low-cal, high-protein breakfast for a couple of days

In case you didn’t notice, I don’t measure my ingredients. Please stop measuring yours unless you’re baking (god bless you) in which case measuring is super important.  Measuring can really cramp your style.

Make it and eat it!!  I feel skinny already, how about you?

functional illiteracy (via Just Sayin’)

This is so true. And so scary.

A recent email exchange with a (college) student: im emailing u because i need a grade from you on my progress report tomorrow or else i cant play sat if you could do that i would gladly appreciate it….also while i was looking at my grades on blackboard i saw a E for the folk and religious music quiz…i was wondering did i miss that day or did i just not get any points on the quiz Your current grade is a D+. Your grade for the quiz was 13 out … Read More

via Just Sayin'

The Perfect Sandwich

Recently I have had the pleasure of eating the perfect sandwich.  This particular sandwich was not the creation of a gourmet chef, not on any trendy restaurant menu, and certainly not anything I’d ever heard of before.  My lovely roommate introduced me to it:  the perfect chicken sandwich.  This sandwich is sweet and salty, crunchy and chewy, a little bit spicy, and downright heavenly.  And there is NOTHING fancy about it.  If you are making this sandwich you are NOT about to eat a gourmet feast.  But you ARE about to rock your taste buds.  Here is a step-by-step guide:

 You will need the following ingredients PRIOR TO step 1:

• Rudy’s BBQ Sauce.  Not the Sissy Sauce.  The real stuff.

• Hellmann’s Mayonnaise.  The original and the best.

• Maldon Sea Salt Flakes.  Any substitutes will definitely create an inferior finished product.

If you do not currently have these things in your pantry, you should definitely purchase them.  Definitely.

Step 1:

On the way home from work, grab a loaf of Orowheat Oatnut Bread and a rotisserie chicken (I like to get mine from Tom Thumb – $4.99 with my discount card).

 

Step 2:

Get home, let the dogs out, get your sweatpants on, put your hair in a ponytail, pour a glass of chardonnay, take a sip, and wash your hands.  This step in and of itself will lead to good feelings.

 Step 3:

Carve your rotisserie chicken.  Slice each breast into 3 thick slices.  These will be used for your sandwiches (assuming you’re making two of them).  Do whatever you want with the dark meat.  I like to set mine aside for chicken soup (either later in the evening or the next day).

 Step 4:

Assemble your sandwiches.  Slather mayo on one side of the bread and pour your Rudy’s on the other side.  Lay 3 thick slices of chicken breast on the bread, sprinkle with the sea salt, put the sandwich together, and slice diagonally.

 Step 5:

Serve and enjoy.  This sandwich is not to be served on an actual plate.  It is best enjoyed on a napkin, eaten on the couch while watching Big Bang Theory, Medium, Weeds, or some other show not about food or dieting.

Nutritional Values:

1,000,000 Calories

1 Splash of Spicy BBQ

A dash of sweet bread

2 parts creamy mayonnaise

A pinch of crunchy, textured sea salt

 Culinary amazingness – without question.

Foodie on the Loose!!

According to Urban Dictionary, a foodie is: “A person that spends a keen amount of attention and energy on knowing the ingredients of food, the proper preparation of food, and finds great enjoyment in top-notch ingredients and exemplary preparation. A foodie is not necessarily a food snob, only enjoying delicacies and/or food items difficult to obtain and/or expensive foods; though, that is a variety of foodie.”

 Evidently I am a foodie and have been for a very long time, although this fact was only brought to my attention a couple of years ago.

My history as a foodie began at the moment of conception: you see, my parents met each other working in a restaurant.  I was destined for total food obsession.  When I was about five years old, I developed an intricate ranking system for the deliciousness of grilled cheese sandwiches.  Whenever my family would go out to eat I’d make sure to order the grilled cheese sandwich and evaluate its color, crispness, flavor and other factors.  Evidently this is not a normal pastime for a child.

In the summers of my “tween” years I would bake.  It started with cookies and brownies out of the box, but one day I found The Joy of Cooking and all bets were off.  I was making every variety of muffins I could (with the ingredients that were in the kitchen).

When I turned 16 I got a part time job at the grocery store.  I quickly became obsessed with produce.  Not only was it a fun challenge to memorize as many produce codes as possible (I will NEVER forget that 4011 is a banana and 4023 are red grapes), I loved seeing the exotic fruits and vegetables to which I’d never been exposed, and noticing which ones were typically purchased together.

Then it got serious: at 18 I got a job working in a restaurant.  Sure I was just a host, but soon I began waiting tables, and eventually I became a supervisor.  I was in FOOD HEAVEN!  Not only was I completely surrounded by food, but I was also surrounded by other people who had the same sick and twisted love for food as I did.  So the food obsession I was experiencing seemed completely normal.  ALL of my close friends worked at that same restaurant with me, so when we got done with work what did we do?  We went out to eat of course!  We drank great wine, ate great meals, had great conversation, and always topped it off with dessert… and coffee (or port, a cordial, espresso, a chocolate martini, or some combination of the above).

At some point I decided that since I’d completed college I should get a “real job”.  Since then, I have NEVER found the satisfaction at work as I did working in the restaurant industry.  And furthermore, people think I am totally crazy because of how much I love food.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain why I’d rather have a nice dinner out rather than buy a new pair of designer jeans.  I have recurring dreams about working in a restaurant: I still remember the table numbers, the menu items and ingredients, the cocktail recipes, and exactly how much our restaurant did in sales on an above-average Saturday night.  I can’t wait to get home from work so I can chop, mince, pare, peel, sauté, braise, fry, or bake.  The prospect of planning a major meal absolutely THRILLS me.  Thinking about the menu for a huge dinner puts me totally over the edge.  I regularly use the word “foodgasm”.

So here I am: all grown up and still totally weird about food.  I love that my family and close friends share my intense love of cuisine.  There is safety in numbers.  Until we start to argue about who cooks what for Thanksgiving anyway…