The Perfect Sandwich

Recently I have had the pleasure of eating the perfect sandwich.  This particular sandwich was not the creation of a gourmet chef, not on any trendy restaurant menu, and certainly not anything I’d ever heard of before.  My lovely roommate introduced me to it:  the perfect chicken sandwich.  This sandwich is sweet and salty, crunchy and chewy, a little bit spicy, and downright heavenly.  And there is NOTHING fancy about it.  If you are making this sandwich you are NOT about to eat a gourmet feast.  But you ARE about to rock your taste buds.  Here is a step-by-step guide:

 You will need the following ingredients PRIOR TO step 1:

• Rudy’s BBQ Sauce.  Not the Sissy Sauce.  The real stuff.

• Hellmann’s Mayonnaise.  The original and the best.

• Maldon Sea Salt Flakes.  Any substitutes will definitely create an inferior finished product.

If you do not currently have these things in your pantry, you should definitely purchase them.  Definitely.

Step 1:

On the way home from work, grab a loaf of Orowheat Oatnut Bread and a rotisserie chicken (I like to get mine from Tom Thumb – $4.99 with my discount card).

 

Step 2:

Get home, let the dogs out, get your sweatpants on, put your hair in a ponytail, pour a glass of chardonnay, take a sip, and wash your hands.  This step in and of itself will lead to good feelings.

 Step 3:

Carve your rotisserie chicken.  Slice each breast into 3 thick slices.  These will be used for your sandwiches (assuming you’re making two of them).  Do whatever you want with the dark meat.  I like to set mine aside for chicken soup (either later in the evening or the next day).

 Step 4:

Assemble your sandwiches.  Slather mayo on one side of the bread and pour your Rudy’s on the other side.  Lay 3 thick slices of chicken breast on the bread, sprinkle with the sea salt, put the sandwich together, and slice diagonally.

 Step 5:

Serve and enjoy.  This sandwich is not to be served on an actual plate.  It is best enjoyed on a napkin, eaten on the couch while watching Big Bang Theory, Medium, Weeds, or some other show not about food or dieting.

Nutritional Values:

1,000,000 Calories

1 Splash of Spicy BBQ

A dash of sweet bread

2 parts creamy mayonnaise

A pinch of crunchy, textured sea salt

 Culinary amazingness – without question.