Choice, Joyce, Schmoyce

Have you ever watched the show Undercover Boss?  I try to tune in on Sunday nights to watch – it’s usually pretty entertaining.  The show is in its second season now and the basic premise is this: a CEO or other top executive of a large company goes incognito to work in front line positions in their organization.  They realize that the workers are actual humans who are struggling along, making low wages, and trying to support their families.  After working in disguise, side-by-side with these people for a week, the exec summons the workers to the corporate office, discloses his (yes I said HIS: there’s only been one female exec so far and I’m impatiently waiting for more) true identity, and gives the workers a gift of some sort.  When the show is over the audience is left feeling hopeful: the faceless CEOs of the world are getting a glimpse of what real life is like, and they’re making positive, employee-centric changes in their companies as a result of their experiences.

I awoke this morning to a dreary, rainy Saturday.  It was a perfect morning to stay in bed and catch up on shows I’d missed over the past couple of weeks.  First in the line-up: Undercover Boss.  I was ready to have my corporate America soul fed.

Upon pressing “Play” I was introduced to Mr. Joyce, the out-of-shape, painfully pock-faced CEO of Choice Hotels.  In an attempt to humanize this gentleman, we heard stories about how his mother was a great caregiver within the neighborhood, looking out for underprivileged young mothers who had been turned out of their own families.

Mr. Joyce shaved his mustache, dyed his hair, and hit the road in a vehicle MUCH below his personal standards to charade as an underling.  First up: a position as a maintenance worker in the world’s largest EconoLodge, trained by a gentleman named Ricardo.  Ricardo has been working two full-time jobs, seven days a week for 6 years in order to put his child through medical school.  Over the course of his week Mr. Joyce is also paired with Christina, a housekeeping manager who aspires to be a GM in order to provide a better living for her family; John, a director of sales who is told “no” a hundred times for every “yes” he gets; and Brandalyn, a front desk clerk who had her first child at 16 and was promptly kicked out of her house.  Brandalyn struggled through life, occasionally sleeping in her car with her young son, and eventually landed the position of overnight front desk clerk.  After his tour with Brandalyn, Mr. Joyce tearfully tells the camera that his mother would have taken Brandalyn in, and that he hopes his mother is proud of him for giving employees like her a chance.

The week of make-believe is over, and Mr. Joyce summons the employees to his office.  After revealing his true identity (“Do you know who I am?  I’m Steve Joyce, president and CEO of Choice Hotels” EGO BOOST), he begins the obligatory giving of gifts.  To John, $5,000 for a new business suit, and a guaranteed position in Choice’s global sales force (Steve, we can call him Steve, says this means “big pay”).  For Christina, Choice is putting her through GM training (“serious change in your income”) and gets a week of paid vacation and an all-expenses-paid Disney Vacation for her and her family.  Brandalyn (who is “really an inspiration”) is told that Mr. Joyce will ask “the folks that work directly with [her] hotel” to help her get to that next spot that she wants PLUS she and her family will receive a trip to San Antonio to “kind of thank [her]”.  Last but not least, Ricardo is given a golf cart so he can be more productive, and a scholarship for his son’s medical school.

WHAT??!!  I’m sorry, but did I just hear that the men are getting $5,000 for a suit, a med school scholarship, and a guaranteed position in a “big pay” job, while the women get training (which the company already provides at no cost, mind you) and a vacation?  And the woman who really pulled at Mr. Joyce’s heartstrings gets a FABULOUS trip to San Antonio.  SAN ANTONIO???  The armpit of the Southern Plains?  ExCUSE me?

Now, I’m not saying that these workers should have necessarily been given anything.  They have jobs in a bad economy and they’re managing to make ends meet.  Here’s my beef: shouldn’t the women have been given equal rewards as the men?  Last I checked a year at a top-notch graduate school can run up to $40,000.  And a $5,000 suit plus “big pay” must equal a similar sum.  Free training and a vacation?  A vacation to SAN ANTONIO?  Really?….  And if the men were somehow more deserving of the large prizes, couldn’t Undercover Boss have shown that?  No, we’re not all going to mindlessly tune out and go for the warm, happy finale.

The show ended and I knew I was supposed to feel warm, fuzzy, and full of hope for my future in corporate America.  How did I feel?  PISSED OFF.  Clearly the glass ceiling is still firmly in place, and inevitably I’ll be hitting it in my future.  I mean, women are obviously less valuable than men in the workplace, and if you need a reminder just ask Mr. Joyce.